Yesterday I was changing channels and came across a talk show with guests debating the merits of stay-at-home parenting. The show had the typical "mommy wars" setup; working mothers sitting together telling the stay-at-home moms that they are lazy and have given up on their own aspirations. The stay-at-home moms returned insults, saying working moms don't connect with their kids and blah, blah, blah. It's all pointless really. It's impossible to say if working/staying at home is best because it's so dependent on the people making the decision. Wes was raised by a stay-at-home mom, I was raised by a working mom, and neither of us is a psycopath or a needy loser.
Although the show was ridiculous, it did get me thinking. What will I do when Seeley starts school? I feel comfortable in my decision right now because I have a baby that needs constant care and supervision, but what will I do when she's out of the house all day? It's a bit early to be thinking about this since Seeley is only three months old, but I can't just not think about it when we're talking about my future! It's scary knowing I stepped outside an already limited working world (not like jobs were flying at me before I had a baby) only to have to fight my way back in in five years.
On the one hand I could continue to be a stay-at-home parent. Financially I have this option if we keep our lifestyle simple like we are right now. I like the idea of being home when my child comes home from school. I like the idea of being available to volunteer at their school. Keeping our home nice and growing as much of our own food as possible would be much easier without two 40hr/week schedules. I like this idea but I wonder if I might constantly feel bored as well as judged for being in a house by myself most of the day.
I could also return to work. I was a teacher before I had Seeley and I loved it. I taught English and composition to high schoolers during the summer and worked with elementary and middle schoolers during the school year. I love being in schools and teaching children new things. I could start with part-time work and work into a full time teaching job eventually. This also sounds appealing. But will I be sacrificing family time if I'm always working or doing lesson plans?
Mothers are expected to do it all, and that would be great if there were systems in place to help us. As things stand, we either work in a system not set up for families and try to make it work or we leave that system all together and choose family over career. I don't believe we're defined by what we do to make money; there are other ways to be productive and use your mind. But I also liked my job; it was a great part of me. So what do I do? Anyone know of a magic third option?
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