Health During Times of Stress

Transitioning from a full-time SAHM to having a part time job is stressful. I tend to stress more than is necessary, and believe me I've been thinking about how and when and where  I will get back to work since the day Seeley was born. This wasn't because being home wasn't what I wanted (I would make the same choice over again no question), I just knew that eventually I would want to resume my career.

Well here I am today; ready to work and grateful for being given a chance to teach again! I'm so lucky with the teaching position I've accepeted. I get to start working slowly and build the amount of classes I teach over time. I get time to prepare as it starts in September. I get time, period. That's one of the things that marks true success in life. Time. So many people have no time to rest, think, grow or develop as a person. I am grateful to be in a position where I don't have to take whatever job I can get to bring in money. The leisure to look for a job out of pure interest and professional development is something everyone should be able to do and which far too few people are able. Carrying this gratitude with me has helped me when I feel overwhelmed and then consequently feel guilty for being so privleged and whiny.

Along with practicing gratitude, I've been trying over the last couple years to channel my stress into productivity. I definitely try to prepare, prepare, prepare!! I've been reading a lot of great public speaking books in preparation for my class(I'm teaching a communication and public speaking course), as well as watching a lot of TEDTalks online (I'm obsessed). I'm definitely nervous about entering a classroom for the first time in three years, but the information I'm finding is actually really informative and interesting stuff! I always feel less stressed and more confident when I feel like I have a solid message behind me.

(p.s. And while I was at the library everyday getting books, of course I had to get some poetry books, a book on floral arragements and a book about traveling to Paris. I'll read them all, somehow. Tanya+books=love.)

 

 

Time at Home and Big Changes

We had such a nice weekend! After a week of Seeley being sick with a stomach virus (seriously, Portland, what's up?) we decided to take it easy since Wes and I weren't feeling great ourselves. It turned out to be really nice to have some much needed down time. We really like spending time together at home. We both love our home and I especially take a lot of pride in how it's maintained and decorated. I'd like to think that our house is nice as well as inviting and comfortable and, most importantly, full of love!
We finally got the cherry tomato plant Wes has been wanting forever and Seeley helped him plant it by playing with the trowel and throwing dirt around. We also took little girl out for a ride on her balance bike but she was more interested in going for a walk with her helmet on. She also decided it was Seeley and papa time and let me know it multiple times ("no mama. I want papa to swing me!") I didn't mind carrying all the stuff and watching them run around. They're too cute to be mad at :)
One of the two big changes in our house is that Seeley is officially weaned from nursing! It just kind of worked out with Seeley being in Boise and then being too sick to tolerate any breastmilk without throwing up. We decided just to go for it entirely and say bye-bye to nursing. So she's done! I'm a mess though. Having that bonding time with her has been amazing and it's really sad to see her growing up (as well as exciting and fantastic, of course). I know that for us nursing Seeley for almost three years was the right decision. I wouldn't change it for the world.
Our other big change is also about growing and moving forward. Beginning in September I will be working part-time! Holy cow! I am excited and nervous and on the verge of a panic attack. I will be teaching a ten week course on public speaking at an educational resource center for homeschoolers! Basically my dream job in alternative education. And the best part is they have a childcare area so I can bring Seeley. It's amazing and I can't wait to get started. Onward and upward!

Life

Whoops! How did a whole week go by and I didn't write one word on the old blog?! It was a somewhat busy week, but I guess I've just been absorbed with this and that. The fall is finally here and we're loving it. Of course, we are also all a little sniffly (is it bad that we discovered baby cold medicine and that I'm maybe exaggerating Seeley's cold so we can use it to knock her out?) I've been quite busy starting several projects and activities that I'm really excited about.

Since I quite working (but plan to resume a career of teaching and writing) I've been really eager to stay involved with the world of education. Recently, I came across the ASPIRE program and decided to get involved. It's very similar to the Upward Bound program I grew up with and worked for in Montana. So last week I began training to become a volunteer advisor. The plan is to meet with three students one day a week and help them plan and prepare for college. Should be fun.

My other great passion is writing poetry and I've recently joined The Poets Studio at The Attic. I love it so far. I had to send work in and get accepted into the class and I'm so happy I did because the work of the other poets is fantastic and will keep me on my game. I definitely need a workshop environment to force me to find the time to write.

Other than that, I've been scrapbooking and reading. Scrapbooking sounds like such a mom thing to do, but it's awesome. I have about 2,000 pictures of Seeley so I have to put them somewhere! Sooooo, this post is all about me, but I figured there's only so much people want to hear about Seeley crawling and knocking things over and such :)


Wonderful poems by the new Poet Laureate Natasha Trethway. She is amazing at interweaving the autobiographical with the historical. Seriously worth checking her out.

 Another great writer, Joyce Johnson, recounts in her memoir her time with Jack Kerouac and other Beat writers and the sexism that often inhibited women Beat artists from being recognized.

"Storytime" at the library for one and two year olds. Basically, it's a big room full of bubbles and toys. Seeley loved it!

Something I'm Looking Foward To...

I've been following the Alternative Education Resource Education Organization (AERO) for a while now. Their website is a great place to find literature, video and links to people and organizations that believe in democratic, student centered education. Whether Seeley goes to a public school, an alternative school or is homeschooled, her education will be her power. AERO usually has their conferences on the east coast, but this year their annual conference will be in Portland! I'm really hoping to go in August, check out what AERO has to offer!

Keynote speakers

AERO is proud to present the following line-up of keynote speakers for this year’s AERO conference: Finding the Catalyst for the Education Revolution. More keynotes will be announced in the next few months as we approach the conference!

• Sir Ken Robinson, PhD is an internationally recognized leader in the development of education, creativity and innovation. He is also one of the world’s leading speakers with a profound impact on audiences everywhere. The videos of his famous 2006 and 2010 talks to the prestigious TED Conference have been seen by an estimated 200 million people in over 150 countries. He works with governments in Europe, Asia and the USA, with international agencies, Fortune 500 companies and some of the world’s leading cultural organizations. Sir Ken will share his thoughts on shifting the paradigm that many education systems still manifest around the world.

• Naomi Aldort is an international expert on parenting and parent/child relationships and author of the book Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. Naomi is an expert on raising powerful and peaceful people through attachment parenting and by protecting their innate freedom to be themselves. Her parenting advice columns have been internationally published covering all responsive parenting issues from babies through adults with focus on raising self-reliant, autonomous, powerful, and peaceful people. For her keynote she will be talking about raising self-directed and powerful children who act and learn from their inner passion without coercion or manipulation.

• Occupy Portland’s Our School project will present a panel sharing practical ways that individuals and groups can organize the education revolution in their own communities. AERO’s Director, Jerry Mintz, will introduce the panel by outlining AERO’s new international representative program. Their panel will end with a group discussion and visioning session to help focus and spur on the education revolution beyond the conference.

• Yaacov Hecht (pictured above) is the founder of the Democratic School of Hadera in Israel, the first to call itself a democratic school. He is also the founder and former head of the Institute for Democratic Education. He currently the founder and CEO of the Education Cities organization which helps transform entire cities’ education system

Unschooling: If You're Bored You're Boring

There are three schools surrounding our apartment. Up the hill is the Portland Jewish Academy, one of the best private k-12 schools in Portland. A block to our left is Mary W Rieke elementary and Wilson High School, both public schools. During our walks I can see the kiddos at recess and I have to steer clear of the 15-year-olds that were somehow given drivers licenses. It's nostalgic and makes me smile to watch the kids play tag and shriek with joy or listen to the teenagers gossip as they loiter in front of the gas station. My twelve years in public schools gave me some good memories. But the ratio of those good memories against the blur of monotony is not so good.
I've shared my opinions on compulsory traditional schooling before and I don't want to be redundant, but I recently came across a speech that so wonderfully articulates my feelings about homeschooling and unschooling that I had to share it and expand my own thoughts. Astra Taylor is a successful filmaker who, along with her brother and sister, were "unschooled". Taylor uses her experience to distinguish "homeschooling" from "unschooling"; describing homeschooling as a system that still keeps the ideas of a curriculum and scheduled, segmented times to learn different subjects. "Unschooling", on the other hand,  is premised on the belief that people learn naturally and that if we create environments in which to learn, along with support and resources, then get out of the way so to speak, kids can direct their own learning.

"Do we trust people's capacity to be curious? Do we trust them to be in charge of themselves or not? Do we trust people to be inquisitive? To follow their innate desire to investigate? To seek knowledge? Or do we believe people need to be led?"

"Our curiosity and creativity was not regulated or controlled [. . . ] it was influenced and facilitated."

The idea of never sending your kids to school can seem scary, but I think that's because we tend to elevate what actually happens in school. Wes and I recently had a discussion on the "return on investment" of traditional schooling. Yes, you do learn a lot of skills, but we're in school eight hours a day for twelve years and most people, including myself,  come away with only a little knowledge of this and that. Taylor states that school is where we're indoctrinated to become "professionally bored". And after all the movie days, pointless worksheets and days spent looking out the window or with your head on your desk, wouldn't you agree?

The ability to think outside the box and try new things isn't promoted in traditional schools. It can't be because the structure in school doesn't allow for any kind of divergence. For example, Seeley and I went for a walk today and she was so engrossed in the trees lining the road. I thought, "When she's a kid wouldn't it be awesome if she could say, 'I'm interested in trees' then spend however long she wanted learning about different kinds of trees, looking at trees, drawing trees, etc?" That is unschooling. Having the ability to pursue something vigorously on your own is a skill needed for success as an adult, and with twenty other kids in a classroom the teacher just doesn't have time to offer needed support. Taylor sums it up well:

"My mom would say 'when you're bored you're boring' [. . .] you don't have to learn because you'll get in trouble, or because you'll fail a test[. . .] you want to learn because there's something in you that wants to touch the world and communicate with it"

Raising an Individual or I Love Teaching But School is a Problem

"[. . . ] one of the most deep rooted of the causes of our problems is the way we treat children, and above all babies. I am equally convinced that no program of social and political change that does not include and begin with changes in the ways in which we bear and rear children has any chance of making things better." - John Holt Teach Your Own.

Seeley turns two months old this week. She is growing so fast and I am in awe of how much she is learning. It's amazing to watch her discover the world; her actions are completely pure. The sun, her hands, my face, it all has meaning to her. She stops to take in everything. She has taught me to do the same.

This time is so special. And I know that eventually that spark will dim. As a teacher who worked with students from kindergarten to 12th grade I saw the spark die frequently. Part of it is growing up, but there are heartbreaking things we do to eachother to make sure we all fall in line.

For as long as we can we want to let Seeley learn and interact with the world in whatever way is natural for her. As a teacher I never felt right promoting the idea that all children learn x,y, and z at this time and in this way. Yes, schools promote multiple intelligences, but that is within the framework of school itself, which promotes receiving information over first hand experience (due to truancy rules) and a set pace for learning and processing information, or rather, memorizing and regurgitating information. Little ones in schools are sorted academically (nevermind that students can learn from eachother) and begin to learn right and wrong. Seeley will surely misbehave, but I feel explinations of "right" and "wrong" are often used for convenience and not as learning moments in individual development. I know when she figures out how she's "supposed" to feel, react and spend her time, that wonderful and spontaneous interaction with her surroundings will be gone.

I did the average 12 years in public school. I honestly feel like I was shaped into who I am in large part by school; and that's not all bad! But I remember having moments where I thought "I'm not supposed to think this" or "no one else does this, so I won't." What could have been if I was encouraged to bring my own ideas and uniqueness to a group instead of conforming to a set of standards formed outside the group? I want to raise a person who believes in and has confidence in her choices. Whatever she does she needs to own it. Her life is hers. Not her teachers. Not her doctors. Not mine or her fathers. Hers.

It seems silly to be talking about school when Seeley is only two months old. But I see her natural wonder and excitement about the world and I want to do everything I can to keep that spark alive. I think we too quicly toss aside our individuality to conform and feel comfortable and I think I can show Seeley from the beginning that that's not the only way to live. When she goes to school (unless I homeschool) I want her to be a headstrong, confident little girl. She'll need to be.



Fighting the Good Fight: John Taylor Gatto

Our baby isn't due for three more weeks and I've already thought long and hard about school. It's not that I'm going to be one of those "helicopter parents", it's that I think our compulsary school system is seriously messed up.

Enter John Taylor Gatto. Gatto taught in public schools for over 30 years and was named both New York City and New York State Teacher of the Year. And he thinks our compulsary school system is messed up. As a teacher myself I constantly felt conflicted. Gatto confirms that students are not learning much of anything. Except to be dependent on authority figures for knowledge and validation. Where is self-initiated learning in this system? Is it even possible to combine independent thinking with our current system? I do not want our daughter thrown into the shuffle and turned into a mindless follower who doesn't trust her own interests and opinions. But does that mean homeschool?

Gatto's books, lectures and a forthcoming documentary are a must for anyone questioning how school is molding our children. Our minds are all we have and we need to protect, enrich and empower them. I heard yesterday that Gatto had a heart attack. I truly hope that we have this man around for many years to come. He has been insturmental in helping people young and old open their eyes and take charge of their time and lives.