I am writing this while Seeley naps in her crib. This is a big deal because, up until this week, Seeley took her naps on my lap. It's kind of embarrassing to share that; that I would literally sit and read or watch tv for an hour while Seeley slept on me. She was (and is but thankfully seems to be phasing into deeper sleep) a light sleeper and I didn't want to move her and wake her up. And I didn't mind. And then I did. Seeley is eight months old now and moving around. She's bigger and doesn't fit easily on my lap anymore. While sleeping on my lap lately she tosses and turns and doesn't seem too comfortable. I'm not comfortable either. I experienced a serious case of burnout. I needed some time to myself, and more than just here and there when Wes comes home and the 45 minutes between when S goes to sleep and we collapse into bed.
It's funny, you get into a routine as new parents. You know that there are new phases coming, that your baby is growing, but you don't really move to that next phase until somthing forces you into it. I've been thinking about transitioning Seeley into the crib for daytime naps but I hadn't been doing it until our cat spilled my cup of coffee all over me while Seeley was asleep on me. I jumped up with Seeley in my arms and put her in the crib so I could clean up my clothes and couch that were covered in coffee. It wasn't until I was finishing cleaning that I realized, "hey, it's nap time. Seeley's in the crib. No time like the present to give this a shot!" She played for a while and cried for a while. It took about an hour. I wasn't sure how long to leave her in there. What if she was just done napping? But then there was silence. She was asleep.
She's been napping in the crib for three days now and it has seriously changed my life! Having two hours a day (she takes two, one hour naps a day) to myself has been amazing. I've worked on my poetry, slept, made phone calls, whatever I want. When she wakes I'm more refreshed, which has made us more active as far as playing, going for walks, etc. We've extended her sleep in the crib to nighttime as well. We have decided that she needs to start the night in the crib. If she comes in bed with us after waking up that's fine, but her first couple hours of sleep need to be in the crib.
I think this arragement works for us for a number of reasons. First, Seeley is old enough. I think her sleep is so much better and deeper when she has her own space. I don't regret the co-sleeping and co-napping because, for her, (to each their own) I think it's what she needed until now. Second, I know her cries and behavior. She cries in her crib before sleeping. I had been reading Dr. Sears (attatchment parenting bigwig) and was therefore expecting to feel awful about letting her cry...but I didn't. I know her panicked/hurt/scared cry and I will never not attend to that cry. But the cry in the crib was just the "I'm tired and pissed off cry", and I know she can work through that herself.
I say it often, but I really believe you just have to do what works for you. Turns out everyone seems much better with Seeley sleeping on her own.
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