Time to Myself

Yesterday evening I decided to go to Target to pick up a few things. I was driving and thought, "something feels different". Than I realized what it was. I was alone. Not with the baby, not with Wes. By myself. And I couldn't remember the last time that had happened. Before getting married and having a baby I was alone all the time and I loved it. At 18 I moved into my first studio apartment and lived alone through college. I loved living alone; my house was my little sanctuary. I definitely needed that place to go where it would just be me, myself, and I. No thanks, roommates! I also loved doing things by myself. I saw movies alone, took myself to dinner, whatever I wanted. I had and have a social life, too. I'm not shy or reclusive, I just really saw the value in being alone.

Now I have a little family who makes my day everyday. And somehow during all the transformations of the past few years I've forgotten to occasionally and purposefully be alone. And yesterday on the drive to Target I realized that I really missed it. It's hard to constantly be taking care of a baby. Even when you're doing something fun like going for a walk or playing on the floor, there is still that feeling that you're responsible for what's going on. And as much as I love talking to and spending time with Wes when he comes home, it's either dividing my attention even more or focusing it from one person or another.

So what to do? Obviously, I need to say "see ya" to the family once and a while and head out on my own. I had my yoga class until I sprained my wrist (try healing that with a nine month old) and my arts writing class turned out to be a bust (long story), but that doesn't mean I should stop getting out and finding solo things to do. It could even be as simple as a drive to Target :)