Stay-At-Home Mommying. But For How Long?

Yesterday I was changing channels and came across a talk show with guests debating the merits of stay-at-home parenting. The show had the typical "mommy wars" setup; working mothers sitting together telling the stay-at-home moms that they are lazy and have given up on their own aspirations. The stay-at-home moms returned insults, saying working moms don't connect with their kids and blah,  blah, blah. It's all pointless really. It's impossible to say if working/staying at home is best because it's so dependent on the people making the decision. Wes was raised by a stay-at-home mom, I was raised by a working mom, and neither of us is a psycopath or a needy loser.

Although the show was ridiculous, it did get me thinking. What will I do when Seeley starts school? I feel comfortable in my decision right now because I have a baby that needs constant care and supervision, but what will I do when she's out of the house all day? It's a bit early to be thinking about this since Seeley is only three months old, but I can't just not think about it when we're talking about my future! It's scary knowing I stepped outside an already limited working world (not like jobs were flying at me before I had a baby) only to have to fight my way back in in five years.

On the one hand I could continue to be a stay-at-home parent. Financially I have this option if we keep our lifestyle simple like we are right now. I like the idea of being home when my child comes home from school. I like the idea of being available to volunteer at their school. Keeping our home nice and growing as much of our own food as possible would be much easier without two 40hr/week schedules. I like this idea but I wonder if I might constantly feel bored as well as judged for being in a house by myself most of the day.

I could also return to work. I was a teacher before I had Seeley and I loved it. I taught English and composition to high schoolers during the summer and worked with elementary and middle schoolers during the school year. I love being in schools and teaching children new things. I could start with part-time work and work into a full time teaching job eventually. This also sounds appealing. But will I be sacrificing family time if I'm always working or doing lesson plans?

Mothers are expected to do it all, and that would be great if there were systems in place to help us. As things stand, we either work in a system not set up for families and try to make it work or we leave that system all together and choose family over career. I don't believe we're defined by what we do to make money; there are other ways to be productive and use your mind. But I also liked my job; it was a great part of me. So what do I do? Anyone know of a magic third option?

A Post For Our Furry Friend

I've been meaning to give our cat Deedle a post, cat lady judgements be damned! But now is the time to do it because yesterday we thought she was dead. We let her out Sunday morning and she didn't come home until last night. This is not like her. Her little territory is only around our corner of the apartment complex. She was gone and we were worried and sad. Having pets is so hard because you get so attatched. Their little personalities, the moments where you look into their eyes and swear there's a connection. Then they get hit by a car, or killed by another animal or you have to put them "to sleep". Having her meow at the door last night felt so amazing. She hobbled in dirty and sore and we've pulled four claws out of her head so far. Our best guess is she got in a catfight, got chased away and found her way home. I'm holding this kitty extra close today, because the risk of losing her is trumped by the love she brings to this little family.

We love you buddy!

Weekend Pics in Lovely Portland :)

The sun was out today during one of the best Januarys in Portland ever! I love downtown Portland, so we decided to walk around some of our favorite downtown areas.

sunshine baby

trendy Alphabet district

downtown dad

Portland State University

A Rogue Brewery resturant at the bottom of a Portland State dorm. For real.

mmmmmm. beer.

Ladies lunching.

Friday Music (Get Out the Tissue)

Wes and I love Paul Simon, and when we found out we were having a girl Wes would sing "Father and Daughter" and play it on his computer on repeat. It made me cry every time. I thought it was the pregnancy hormones but, nope, still crying. I found the song with a little music video on Youtube. Enjoy...
(p.s. Seeley and Paul Simon share the same birthday, which is awesome)

Happy Anniversary!!

This will be a short post today. Just long enough to say happy anniversary (dating, not marriage) to my Wes. I love you very much. Best six years ever.

Christmas With the New Edition and Relections on Three Months

Wes and I have been looking foward to our Missoula trip for a long time. The last time we saw our family members was when Seeley was born and then it was a blur. Wes and I were exhausted and Seeley was just a brand new, squishy girl who slept all the time. Boy have things changed! Seeley is taking in her surroundings (which puts me on call to keep those surroundings peaceful and stimulating) and she's physically grown so much. She kicks her legs, squeals and, lucky for the world, smiles constantly with that fantastic smile she got from her dad.
While in Missoula it seemed like her development quadrupled. She "talked" more than we have ever heard and she started trying to sit up by lurching her head foward. It's a race just to keep up with this girl! As she becomes more aware and develops more of a personality Wes and I are reminded of just how important childhood is in determining who we become. Childhood is so pure. Happiness comes from things as simple yet meaningful as a smile from a loved one or playing on the floor. It's a time when you don't know unhappiness, only frustration. Childhood is when you should feel completely safe. The world is such an inviting place to a child; I wish it stayed that way! Seeley is my everything and I want her to have what I had. I remember looking into the faces of my family and feeling pure love and protection. I remember one of my favorite places to be was my grandpa's lap whether he was reading the paper, watching tv, in the middle of a conversation, or trying to go somewhere. I want my little girl to have those places. I remember exploring  my world and spending entire days making up adventure stories. I want Seeley's mind to be her favorite toy. Watching Seeley grow and interact with her family has made me so happy; I don't know how to accurately describe how loved this girl is.

As far as parenthood goes, Wes and I are beaming with pride and covered in slobber (I think she's preteething, soooooo much drool!) We've been looking foward to getting out and about with friends as well as with eachother for some baby free time. For me that didn't really happen. At three months and eating breastmilk exclusively, it's hard to get away for more than two hours without needing to feed her or pump so whoever has her has a bottle and I get some physical relief. Breastfeeding is definitely a commitment and I can pretty much say for certain that she will be off the boob by one! I did have time to go shopping and spoil myself and I got an awesome manicure (thinks mama) which was suprisingly restorative.

On our way home we got one last surprise. Wes was driving and I was sitting in the back with Seeley. I was poking her belly and tickling her when she had her first giggle! Wes and I were both there to hear it and boy was it cute:)

I'm Back (With Pics)!

I know and I'm sorry! I'm a bad blogger. I've been gone for more than a week with not so much as a peep or a pic. Wes, Seeley and I went to Missoula for eight days and had a great time. We got to spend some much needed time with friends and family and Seeley got to meet her great-grandparents and bond with her grandparents, uncles and aunt. Guess I just had to take a break to get some more blogging material! I will write about this special trip in my next post, but for now enjoy the pics!

The pink extravaganza continues.

My mama, Seeley's grandma enjoying floor time

A Piglet for my piglet!

Uncle Nick!

Big girl being held up by grandma and grandma great!

So big!

Auntie Shamara :)

Five generations. What a lucky girl!

Great great grandma Lilly. That's Wes' grandpa's mother! How cool is that?

Back home and passed out. What a trooper!