Polar Bear Hat!!!

Monkey dolls everywhere at Topanien Gifts of the World!

I've been pushing myself too much lately. I have a thing with to-do lists where I beat myself up if something isn't done in the time frame and manner I think it should be. I've been pushing myself with my poetry, cleaning (nesting on steriods is a good description) and editing work I do on the side. So this evening I decided I needed a break. I took my giant $45.00 paycheck from some papers I edited and went to Topenien Gifts in Multnomah Village (I swear I will leave my neighborhood when I'm not 100 weeks pregnant.) We were greeted by their awesome and colorful window display of wool monkey dolls.

But the reason behind this stop was to purchase the adorable winter polar bear hat I've had my eye on. I figure, how stressed can I be when I have a cute polar bear on my head? Mission accomplished.

Like Art? Read This Book!

Apollo's Angels: A History of Ballet by Jennifer Homans. Random House. 2010.



I've just finished an amazing book by dance critic Jennifer Homans. Apollo's Angels: A History of Ballet captures the flow and intersection of ballet with music, poetry, painting and fashion as well as politics and national identities across the world. Angels is a long read (550 pages) but, even as someone with no experience in ballet, I was hooked from beginning to end. I've never read a book that so smoothly combines dance and art into a historical timeline. Dance and art as a whole have been judged by their accessibility and Angels expertly describes the role art plays in the lives of those who have access to it and those who do not. National tragedies and triumphs, the rise and fall of monarchies are all told through the story of ballet. The attention to detail and intense discipline and fluidity of ballet is reflected in the discipline and fluidity of Homan's writing.

If you have an interest in art, history, and culture I recommend you read this book!

38 weeks

Just a quick baby update. I am 38 weeks today, baby girl is due in two weeks and I am over it! I have a lot I want to say about pregnancy but for now all I have to say is uuuggggghhhh. Look at that belly!

Fire Water (River of Love)

I woke up in a bad mood this morning. I am an extremely light sleeper and pregnancy has only made this worse. Usually when I wake up pissy I listen to a song that makes me smile, dance or laugh. Today that song is "Fire Water (River of Love)" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. I could listen to this song over and over and I love how their band has, like, 500 people in it:) Enjoy!

Hello Fall!

Leaves beginning to change!

It's not Portland without a little rain!

The official first day of fall this year was Friday, September 23. Fall is my favorite season and the fact that it always seems so short (especially in Missoula) makes it all the more special. Here in Portland the weather has cooled down, the rain has picked up and leaves are starting to change color and drop to the ground. I always try to notice and appreciate these changes because before we know it Portland will be grey, cold and rainy. So enjoy the fall. Pull out your favorite sweaters, drink some dark beer, look up recipes for stews and casseroles and other rich, dense, food, and buy a pair of wool socks (we are in the Northwest after all, there are unfashionable expectations to uphold). Enjoy the change in season!

Defining a "Real Job" (and Why "Feminist Homemaker" is Not An Oxymoron)

We all do it. We meet someone new and cheerfully ask, "So what do you do?" This question seemingly has a lot of answers. "I listen to music, sleep, go for walks, sometimes I cook." But that's not what we mean when we ask the question and we know that's not the response others look for when the tables are turned. No, what do you do to make money? Until recently I had an answer. "I work for the school district in the Indian Education Department." I could breathe easy. I was working; my existence and productive ability had been validated. But that was a year ago.

There are a lot of ways to be productive and contribute to society, however, only pursuits with monetary rewards seem to be of value. Don't get me wrong, money is important and poverty sucks. It's a hell of a lot harder to reach your full potential when you can't afford heat or food. But why don't we recognize (really recognize, not just a pat on the head) the contributions of those outside the paid workforce?

Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes. Left to Write Press. 2010.

When I say "those" I mean stay-at-home partners and homemakers (both male and female). "Homemaking" is experiencing a major resurgence, especially in the Do It Yourself (DIY) movement. Growing and preparing your own food, opting out of work to raise children, making your own clothing and other acts of self-sufficiency have gained notable popularity across the country. Books like Shannon Hayes' Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture (a must read if you're considering leaving the workforce) have wait lists. So when Wes and I decided that we wanted to live off of one income and that I would stay home with the baby, one would think I leapt in with full confidence. Not quite.

As a woman and a feminist I feel a little like I'm selling out. And what pisses me off is that so many other feminists seem to agree. The way a lot of feminists talk about "traditional women's work" reeks of condescension. Don't even get me started on the idea of the "overeducated housewife" (so I'm too smart to change a diaper? My education is worthless unless I use it to make money?) We are spitting in the faces of the women who got us where we are when we say that women who choose to embrace the traditions that have supported families and united women for years are not as empowered as those who work for a paycheck. Something is seriously wrong when I feel invalidated by feminists for doing something traditionally done by women.

When people ask "what I do" I don't know what to say. I stammer and say "well I'm not working right now" or "well, see, with the baby coming..." I know this decision feels absolutely right for both of us but I still feel like I need to convince people that I'm not just leeching off of Wes. It would be too easy for me to suggest that we stop defining ourselves by how we pay the bills. I didn't realize how much I did it until the paychecks stopped coming. What I can say is that I have been thrown into a huge learning curve in restructuring my time and and pursuits; and in this confusion I've learned that we all ultimately know what's best for ourselves no matter how traditional that may be.

A Bob Dylan Children's Book!

Forever Young by Bob Dylan and Illustrations by Paul Rogers. Simon and Schuster.2008.

"May you stay forever young/Forever young, forever young/ May you stay forever young."

"Forever Young" is one of the most touching and beautiful songs out there and Bob Dylan is an amazing, one-of-a-kind songwriter and artist. So when I recently received the book "Forever Young" as a gift (thanks Ari:)) I knew I had to let everyone know that this gem exists. Dylan's lyrics accompany Paul Rogers' illustrations which are inspired by other classic Dylan songs as well as parts of his life. I cannot wait to read the lyrics to "Forever Young" one by one with the accompaniment of a beautiful illustrated story to my little girl.

Enjoy your weekend and "May God bless and keep you always/May your wishes all come true/May you always do for others/And let others do for you."