TV or no TV?

We all have an imaginary future self that does the things we aren't doing right now. For example, I still have it in my mind that I'm going to be a person that throws huge, elaborate parties even though I'm not a party throwing kind of person. Something I've always told myself I will do is live without t.v; turn it off more or less for good. Wes has that same vision. We especially want it to be the life that our child knows.
Flash to today and to reality. I'm a t.v. junkie. I watch wonderful shows but I also watch a ton of crap. Until now. At the beginning of last week I was watching a little cartoon with Seeley when I was punched in the gut. "What am I doing? Turn this sh*t off!" I had been thinking about this for awhile but in that moment the decision I needed to make was clear. Television turns your brain to mush.When we watch t.v. we're not doing anything. Right now Seeley's brain is figuring out the world (heck, my brain is figuring out the world). By putting her in front of the t.v. I feel like I'm putting the brakes on all of that!

The American Academy of Pediatrics says that children under the age of two should watch no t.v. whatsoever. While I think that living soley based on "expert" advice won't make for the most in-tune, connected family, I do think they have a point. Children see the world in a way they never will again. Why bring television in to mess that up?

So the t.v. is off. Not for 24 hours, but during the day we've instituted a no t.v. rule. At night we'll turn it on if we have something specific we want to watch or we have a Netflix movie. But for this girl, the boob tube is out of her life.

It's been a little over a week with no t.v and is it crazy to say I'm already seeing changes? Seeley took a two hour nap today. Anyone who's spent time with her knows that she is not a baby who naps. She always wants to look around to see what's happening and she fights going to sleep even when she's exhausted. In addition she's a light sleeper and things as simple as turning a page in a book will wake her up (this actually happend). But now, she doesn't have the noise and fast moving images of the t.v. Our daily activities (going for walks, tummy time, reading, talking) require energy and brainpower. The house is quite. And she's started napping. I put her to bed and she just...slept! No up and down for an hour. Connection?

It's only been a week, and it definitely helps that the rain has stopped and we've been able to get out of the house. Things will get difficult, there will be times of "what should we do?" but we're connected. Seeley has an amazing amount of energy and I have a mind that I'd like to think is creative; so off goes the t.v.!

Weekend Pics!!

The rain took a break this weekend which meant that we got to go outside for some fun! We put Seeley in the stroller and hit up the Hawthorne neighborhood in SE Portland for a nice long walk. I forgot the camera but it was nice and sunny and perfect :) The rest of the weekend has been spent laughing and playing with little girl, of course. She's really been loving her new book from great-grandma and she's getting soooo strong during tummy time. We're off to Powell's to buy more picture books...have a great remainder of the weekend!

What used to be our coffee table is now Seeley's play station:)

She's getting stronger by the day!

Just hanging out during tummy time:)

Reading with Papa

One more time!

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Today is my grandma's birthday! I hope she's spending it surrounded by family and friends in Missoula. I've been lucky enough to have a very close relationship with my grandparents my entire life. My gram is kind, funny, smart, motivated and a wonderful person to know. How wonderful it is to be a Dickinson, and how wonderful to have such a splendid matriarch. I love you grandma!

A Lovely Day

The sun's out today people, so this post will be brief! The weather has improved which means more walks for me and Seeley! Today we're off to a nearby coffee shop then the library to check out their picture books and children's music. We've also been doing more tummy time, so this girl should be kickin' up dust in no time. Enjoy some updated pics!

Out for a walk in the carrier!

A Close up of this sunshine girl. Please ignore the hair slobber-glued to her face:)

Tummy time! She's working hard!

Making Time to Write

My writing desk, otherwise known as the kitchen table.

Seeley is about three and a half months old and I love her more than ever. I want the world for this girl and part of the happy life I see for her involves seeing happy parents. Like everyone, I have dreams and aspirations both personal and professional. As most people in my life know, I love to write. When I was pregnant with Seeley I decided to really go for it and give this writing thing a try. Yes, I would have a newborn, but the same factors that would make serious writing difficult were also my driving forces. I want Seeley to see the importance of creative expression and I want her to see her mother pursuing her passion.

In practice, getting some publishable writing done has been difficult. I love poetry. I love to write it and I love to read it. My goal is not so much to get published as it is to create something I would be proud to send out into the world. The ideas are there as is the motivation. The only thing I need is the time.

I always hear about writers working in the middle of the night and early morning so I know I'm not alone in trying to cram poetry in the here-and-there minutes when Seeley is doing her own thing. I've tried writing after Seeley goes to bed, but by that point my brain is mush. I've been able to accomplish some writing during the day but I can't quite focus when those little eyes are looking at me and saying, "what's up? What are we going to do now?"

So I'm going to start writing in the mornings. I definitely don't get enough sleep (I am still a moveable feast and feel like a dairy cow) but I think losing an extra hour of sleep is what's required to follow this dream. So I'll be a little more tired, but the result will be the peace of mind that comes from following a dream.

A Muddy Walk in Forest Park

Right off of downtown Portland is Forest Park. You would never guess that right beyond the Alphabet district, with all it's trendy shops and people, is miles of trails and wilderness! Saturday was the only day in the past week or so that it hasn't rained and we decided to get out and enjoy the outdoors. Aside from all the mud on the trail, our hike was beautiful. We're lucky to have a great stroller that could handle the bumps (thanks aunt Denise!) so Seeley got to look around at all the trees.

The wilderness in the Pacific Northwest is definitely different than the wilderness in Montana. Portland is so lush and green and beautiful! I have to say, though, the drier climate and pine trees in Missoula will always have a special place in my heart : )

The muddy trail

Love the Pacific Northwest landscape

Enjoying the walking weather

A Moving Moment While Checking My Email

Richard and Mildred Loving in 1965. Photo by Grey Villet

I was checking my email a moment ago and I came across some photographs and a story about Mildred and Richard Loving. The Lovings are an interracial couple (Mildred is black, Richard white) who's marriage and subsequent arrest in 1958 led to the dismantaling of U.S. laws preventing interracial marriage.

The pictures of the Lovings and their children are incredibly beautiful. I am very grateful for people like the Lovings; it's hard to imagine that in another time Wes and I wouldn't legally be allowed to marry! Check out the article and the rest of the pictures here:
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/tender-photos-unearthed-turbulent-time-235100316.html#crsl=

Who Said This Baby Could Grow Up So Fast?

I was sitting in the living room while Wes was in our bedroom changing Seeley's diaper and putting on her jammers when I heard the shake of a rattle. "Oh cute" I thought, "Wes is playing with her". Diaper changes have turned into their bonding time. I had just looked down to continue reading my book when Wes called me in, and there she was. Holding a rattle. And shaking it. How did this happen? Sure she had been flinging her arms and kind of grabbing onto things; but playing with a rattle? This is happening too fast.

Seeley is three months old now and her little brain has gone into development overload. She thrusts her little legs out in an attempt to push herself, loves to sit and stand on our laps, mimics our speech, and her latest development, screams with joy at the top her lungs when she sees something she likes on t.v. Today it was Clifford the Big Red Dog and Dr. Cornel West. And now she's playing with her rattle. I'm just enjoying the world as this girl takes it by storm :)

Shake shake shake!

Shake that rattle for Papa!

Standing up with her wobbly, chubby legs :)

Holding her head up and sitting like a big girl!

Yup. Too cute.

The Importance of the Thank You Note

Box five of Thank You cards

Wes and I have had a crazy year. We celebrated our first wedding anniversary, had a baby, and the list goes on. We are lucky enough to have family and friends that are happy for us , supportive and generous. And for that I am eternally grateful. To just say "thanks" to our family and friends isn't enough; so I choose to send thank you cards.

I don't know if people my age send personalized thank you cards very often. The key here is personalized. I like to let people know that I recognize the specific gift and act of kindness they've given us. Receiving baby clothes, money, cards with well wishes as made all the difference during the changes in our lives, and I think it's important to let people know how they've effected us.

If the troubles the Post Office is facing are any indication, people are not sending hand written correspondence as often. I don't know why, but compared to an email there is something special about a handwritten note. It feels like someone took time out of their day to think of you.

I'm kind of obsessed with thank you notes after sending them after three (!) baby showers, a wedding anniversary, birthdays and Christmas (I mean it when I say we've been very spoiled this year). If you're feeling a bit disconnected, send someone a thank you note; I promise the benefits are endless:)

Snow!

It snowed here in Portland yesterday. It's mostly gone already, but for a bit it was nice to experience real winter weather!

Sleepy Weekend Pics (So Far)

We've been taking it easy this weekend. Last night we hung out at Uncle John and Shanti's and today we slept in 'till noon. Having a baby that lets you sleep until noon (with a small break for eating and changing) is awesome.

I think she feels comfrotable with aunt Shanti

Ladies of the morning

Good morning cute stuff!

Deedle on the road to recovery

Stay-At-Home Mommying. But For How Long?

Yesterday I was changing channels and came across a talk show with guests debating the merits of stay-at-home parenting. The show had the typical "mommy wars" setup; working mothers sitting together telling the stay-at-home moms that they are lazy and have given up on their own aspirations. The stay-at-home moms returned insults, saying working moms don't connect with their kids and blah,  blah, blah. It's all pointless really. It's impossible to say if working/staying at home is best because it's so dependent on the people making the decision. Wes was raised by a stay-at-home mom, I was raised by a working mom, and neither of us is a psycopath or a needy loser.

Although the show was ridiculous, it did get me thinking. What will I do when Seeley starts school? I feel comfortable in my decision right now because I have a baby that needs constant care and supervision, but what will I do when she's out of the house all day? It's a bit early to be thinking about this since Seeley is only three months old, but I can't just not think about it when we're talking about my future! It's scary knowing I stepped outside an already limited working world (not like jobs were flying at me before I had a baby) only to have to fight my way back in in five years.

On the one hand I could continue to be a stay-at-home parent. Financially I have this option if we keep our lifestyle simple like we are right now. I like the idea of being home when my child comes home from school. I like the idea of being available to volunteer at their school. Keeping our home nice and growing as much of our own food as possible would be much easier without two 40hr/week schedules. I like this idea but I wonder if I might constantly feel bored as well as judged for being in a house by myself most of the day.

I could also return to work. I was a teacher before I had Seeley and I loved it. I taught English and composition to high schoolers during the summer and worked with elementary and middle schoolers during the school year. I love being in schools and teaching children new things. I could start with part-time work and work into a full time teaching job eventually. This also sounds appealing. But will I be sacrificing family time if I'm always working or doing lesson plans?

Mothers are expected to do it all, and that would be great if there were systems in place to help us. As things stand, we either work in a system not set up for families and try to make it work or we leave that system all together and choose family over career. I don't believe we're defined by what we do to make money; there are other ways to be productive and use your mind. But I also liked my job; it was a great part of me. So what do I do? Anyone know of a magic third option?

A Post For Our Furry Friend

I've been meaning to give our cat Deedle a post, cat lady judgements be damned! But now is the time to do it because yesterday we thought she was dead. We let her out Sunday morning and she didn't come home until last night. This is not like her. Her little territory is only around our corner of the apartment complex. She was gone and we were worried and sad. Having pets is so hard because you get so attatched. Their little personalities, the moments where you look into their eyes and swear there's a connection. Then they get hit by a car, or killed by another animal or you have to put them "to sleep". Having her meow at the door last night felt so amazing. She hobbled in dirty and sore and we've pulled four claws out of her head so far. Our best guess is she got in a catfight, got chased away and found her way home. I'm holding this kitty extra close today, because the risk of losing her is trumped by the love she brings to this little family.

We love you buddy!

Weekend Pics in Lovely Portland :)

The sun was out today during one of the best Januarys in Portland ever! I love downtown Portland, so we decided to walk around some of our favorite downtown areas.

sunshine baby

trendy Alphabet district

downtown dad

Portland State University

A Rogue Brewery resturant at the bottom of a Portland State dorm. For real.

mmmmmm. beer.

Ladies lunching.

Friday Music (Get Out the Tissue)

Wes and I love Paul Simon, and when we found out we were having a girl Wes would sing "Father and Daughter" and play it on his computer on repeat. It made me cry every time. I thought it was the pregnancy hormones but, nope, still crying. I found the song with a little music video on Youtube. Enjoy...
(p.s. Seeley and Paul Simon share the same birthday, which is awesome)

Happy Anniversary!!

This will be a short post today. Just long enough to say happy anniversary (dating, not marriage) to my Wes. I love you very much. Best six years ever.

Christmas With the New Edition and Relections on Three Months

Wes and I have been looking foward to our Missoula trip for a long time. The last time we saw our family members was when Seeley was born and then it was a blur. Wes and I were exhausted and Seeley was just a brand new, squishy girl who slept all the time. Boy have things changed! Seeley is taking in her surroundings (which puts me on call to keep those surroundings peaceful and stimulating) and she's physically grown so much. She kicks her legs, squeals and, lucky for the world, smiles constantly with that fantastic smile she got from her dad.
While in Missoula it seemed like her development quadrupled. She "talked" more than we have ever heard and she started trying to sit up by lurching her head foward. It's a race just to keep up with this girl! As she becomes more aware and develops more of a personality Wes and I are reminded of just how important childhood is in determining who we become. Childhood is so pure. Happiness comes from things as simple yet meaningful as a smile from a loved one or playing on the floor. It's a time when you don't know unhappiness, only frustration. Childhood is when you should feel completely safe. The world is such an inviting place to a child; I wish it stayed that way! Seeley is my everything and I want her to have what I had. I remember looking into the faces of my family and feeling pure love and protection. I remember one of my favorite places to be was my grandpa's lap whether he was reading the paper, watching tv, in the middle of a conversation, or trying to go somewhere. I want my little girl to have those places. I remember exploring  my world and spending entire days making up adventure stories. I want Seeley's mind to be her favorite toy. Watching Seeley grow and interact with her family has made me so happy; I don't know how to accurately describe how loved this girl is.

As far as parenthood goes, Wes and I are beaming with pride and covered in slobber (I think she's preteething, soooooo much drool!) We've been looking foward to getting out and about with friends as well as with eachother for some baby free time. For me that didn't really happen. At three months and eating breastmilk exclusively, it's hard to get away for more than two hours without needing to feed her or pump so whoever has her has a bottle and I get some physical relief. Breastfeeding is definitely a commitment and I can pretty much say for certain that she will be off the boob by one! I did have time to go shopping and spoil myself and I got an awesome manicure (thinks mama) which was suprisingly restorative.

On our way home we got one last surprise. Wes was driving and I was sitting in the back with Seeley. I was poking her belly and tickling her when she had her first giggle! Wes and I were both there to hear it and boy was it cute:)

I'm Back (With Pics)!

I know and I'm sorry! I'm a bad blogger. I've been gone for more than a week with not so much as a peep or a pic. Wes, Seeley and I went to Missoula for eight days and had a great time. We got to spend some much needed time with friends and family and Seeley got to meet her great-grandparents and bond with her grandparents, uncles and aunt. Guess I just had to take a break to get some more blogging material! I will write about this special trip in my next post, but for now enjoy the pics!

The pink extravaganza continues.

My mama, Seeley's grandma enjoying floor time

A Piglet for my piglet!

Uncle Nick!

Big girl being held up by grandma and grandma great!

So big!

Auntie Shamara :)

Five generations. What a lucky girl!

Great great grandma Lilly. That's Wes' grandpa's mother! How cool is that?

Back home and passed out. What a trooper!