Thursday, December 22, 2011

My 2011

It's not quite the new year yet, but it's the perfect time to think about all that's happened this year. This year:

Wes and I moved back to Missoula and discovered the truth in the saying "You can never go home again". We love you Missoula, we just can't live with you.

I worked with Missoula County Public Schools and discovered my love of working with elementary school kids!

Wes and I moved to Portland and I think we're staying put.

We got a cute little cat friend named Buddles. He died. But he sent Deedle to tear our house up in his place.

I quit working to become a stay-at-home mom. Don't quite know how to fill the days yet, but I'll figure it out:)

Wes and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary and had our baby shower on the same day! Who woulda thought!

I experienced pregnancy, which is unlike anything else.

I gave birth. It was painful and awful and in retrospect, amazing. And Wes was right there.

We experienced the first two and a half months of our daughter's life. And in that time she's learned to hold her head up and smile. Two of the most important things to learn if you ask me:)

Monday, December 19, 2011

Not Keeping Score

Seeley woke up early on Saturday morning. Wes and I were both tired. Thus began the standoff. Neither of us wanted to aknowledge that the baby had woken us up in the hopes that the other would get up with the baby. Finally, when Seeley was at maximum squirminess, we broke. "Why do have to get up with her?" " Well why do I have to?"
It's embarrasing to say that we've had more than one of these conversations. Whether it's about getting up, changing diapers, walking her around the house when she's fussy; we've done the thing parents should NEVER do. We've been keeping score. Keeping score is easy to do but completely counterproductive. I can say that I spend more time with the baby during the day and therefore deserve more of a break when Wes gets home. He can say that he works hard at his job all day and gets up very early and therefore deserves more of a break. We do different things but we both are working hard to live the life we want and give the best to Seeley.
The thing about parenthood that's difficult isn't the baby. It's balancing everything around the baby. Seeley makes the schedule in our house and sometimes it's difficult to get up and do what needs to be done. Wes and I know that we both parent equally. After a cup or two of strong coffee we agreed that we need to stop keeping score. Hopefully through honest communication (we've been really good about asking for breaks) the keeping score will go away:)

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Mama's Night Out!

Homemade Christmas treats and cards! Check out the gingerbread t-rex I made for Wes!
Last night I went to my friend Valerie's Christmas card and cookie-making party. As I was getting ready I realized this would be my first time away from Seeley, aside from trips to the store, since she's been born! During the time I was pregnant with her I would always say that I'm going to need time for myself and I'll probably want to get out of the house quite often when she's here. While it's important to make time for yourself, the exact opposite has happened to me. I am in my little Wes and Seeley cocoon and I don't have plans to emerge any time soon. I don't want to be away from Seeley and we've actually been able to do quite a bit of stuff with her.

In the long term, it's better for everyone if I get out and do my own thing once and a while. I was afraid I'd be anxoius and distracted the entire time I was at the party but I actually had a lot of fun. I was able to relax knowing that she's fine without me! Now we're one step closer to letting other people watch little girl : )

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Weekend Pics: Putting Up the Tree!

Seeley's first Christmas!

And our first Christmas tree in Portland!

Wes and Seeley. I wish I could put a bow on them!

Baby's first ornament

Ornament for mama

Ta Da!

Family Love

Happy Holidays to You!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Thankful: Part 2

Really cool picture from the blog Birth Without Fear
Today as been a beautiful day so far. I thought I'd express my gratitude for:
cell phones with the ability to send pictures
The sun. In Portland. In December!
Seeley's two month old personality
the sound of our wind chime on the porch
coming to accept the pace of losing baby weight
family hugs
Saturdays at home
Sunday walks


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Raising an Individual or I Love Teaching But School is a Problem

"[. . . ] one of the most deep rooted of the causes of our problems is the way we treat children, and above all babies. I am equally convinced that no program of social and political change that does not include and begin with changes in the ways in which we bear and rear children has any chance of making things better." - John Holt Teach Your Own.

Seeley turns two months old this week. She is growing so fast and I am in awe of how much she is learning. It's amazing to watch her discover the world; her actions are completely pure. The sun, her hands, my face, it all has meaning to her. She stops to take in everything. She has taught me to do the same.

This time is so special. And I know that eventually that spark will dim. As a teacher who worked with students from kindergarten to 12th grade I saw the spark die frequently. Part of it is growing up, but there are heartbreaking things we do to eachother to make sure we all fall in line.

For as long as we can we want to let Seeley learn and interact with the world in whatever way is natural for her. As a teacher I never felt right promoting the idea that all children learn x,y, and z at this time and in this way. Yes, schools promote multiple intelligences, but that is within the framework of school itself, which promotes receiving information over first hand experience (due to truancy rules) and a set pace for learning and processing information, or rather, memorizing and regurgitating information. Little ones in schools are sorted academically (nevermind that students can learn from eachother) and begin to learn right and wrong. Seeley will surely misbehave, but I feel explinations of "right" and "wrong" are often used for convenience and not as learning moments in individual development. I know when she figures out how she's "supposed" to feel, react and spend her time, that wonderful and spontaneous interaction with her surroundings will be gone.

I did the average 12 years in public school. I honestly feel like I was shaped into who I am in large part by school; and that's not all bad! But I remember having moments where I thought "I'm not supposed to think this" or "no one else does this, so I won't." What could have been if I was encouraged to bring my own ideas and uniqueness to a group instead of conforming to a set of standards formed outside the group? I want to raise a person who believes in and has confidence in her choices. Whatever she does she needs to own it. Her life is hers. Not her teachers. Not her doctors. Not mine or her fathers. Hers.

It seems silly to be talking about school when Seeley is only two months old. But I see her natural wonder and excitement about the world and I want to do everything I can to keep that spark alive. I think we too quicly toss aside our individuality to conform and feel comfortable and I think I can show Seeley from the beginning that that's not the only way to live. When she goes to school (unless I homeschool) I want her to be a headstrong, confident little girl. She'll need to be.



Monday, December 5, 2011

Some Weekend Pics

Our little family didn't do too much this weekend. We watched football on Saturday and went for a long walk in the sun on Sunday. I love that the weather has been so nice lately! Happy week everyone!

Oatmeal Raisin cookies. I got to lick the batter from the bowl (Wes doesn't like the batter. Weirdo!)

Voila!

Sleeping in:)


Thursday, December 1, 2011

Sleeping (or not) With a Newborn

7am, on four hours of sleep. The robe and bedhead will stay until this afternoon!

Where would I be without you?
Contrary to the belief that you will get "no sleep" when you have a baby, Wes and I have been getting a fair amount of rest. Seeley usually goes to sleep around 9:30pm (that might be too late for a seven week old, but it works for Seeley which means it works for us) and gets up twice around 3am and 6am to be fed and changed and sleeps a little more until around 9:30 am. So, if we go to bed at 10:30 we'll get about six hours of sleep. Not bad! Last night however...

Baby slept soundly 'till 2:30am (yay!)

Then she woke up to eat. We're all set up and ready to go but now she's falling asleep instead of eating but making hungry signals when I start to set her down.

We spend half hour doing the "you're-hungry-so-why-aren't-you-eating" dance

From 3:00 am on baby is awake. Her eyes are closed but she's squirming and making snorting, cooing noises. For hours. Dad manages to sleep through all of this until I wake him up for no reason other than to be awake with me (sorry Wes:)).

So now I'm awake with my coffee, delirious, walking into rooms and not remembering why I'm there. And Seeley is fast asleep.